Reporter gets to the bottom of the battle of Auber

Exclusive! Ardoberg Enquirer interview with Colonel Waldemar Von Bunny, Inhaber of the Diefenbach Regiment AE – Thank you for making time for this interview, Colonel. You must be very busy given the drubbing your forces received at the battle of Auber. Von Bunny – I’m always glad to make time for my friends in the Fourth Estate. So, what can I do for you today? AE – Well, Sir, our readers want to know how you could have possibly lost that battle, given you had two regiments against a single newly raised San Maurician regiment. Von Bunny - Is that a new coat? It looks very well on you, I must say. You really must give me the name of your tailor. AE – My tailor be damned, Sir! You owe our readers an explanation! How came you to be defeated by a rabble of raw Gallic recruits? Some say you were in your tent recovering from a surfeit of drink. Were you even with your regiment when they met the enemy? Von Bunny – Neither was I. Must have been some other fellow. Say, do you remember the Willow Day ball at the Duchess of Wittenburg’s country house? That was quite a… AE – The People shall hear of your incompetence, Sir! The Truth will out! I shall…hey! Tell your goons to get their hands off me! Get off! I…I represent the OWW! Stop it! OWW! What are you doing with my note pad??? You can’t put it up there! OWWW!